How to Know If You Have Self-Esteem Issues In your Personal Relationships

People with self-esteem issues may find it hard to establish or maintain relationships with other individuals because they themselves can’t establish a healthy relationship with themselves.  Though you say it’s only your problem and yours alone, those who care about you cannot help but be affected by your inner struggles with yourself.  Having someone to talk to or share your thoughts with can help, but if you still have a problem with how you feel about yourself, soon you’ll be losing those whom you value most.  Here is a guide on how to determine if you are seriously losing confidence in yourself.

Step #1:  Be more aware if you continually put yourself down.

If you’re the type to blush over an achievement and say things like “I don’t deserve it” or “It’s just a lucky break, I always fare worse”, then you’re on the clear path to the destruction not only of your self-esteem, but also your relationship with other people.  The same goes for people with body issues, who hide and often berate themselves for not looking as perfect as some other people.  Though other people can offer you the assurance and the ego boost that you are good, smart, and fine the way you are, pretty soon they’ll
just get up and leave you if you continue downplaying yourself.

Step #2:  Determine if you keep on banging your head over regrets.

Reminiscing and remembering some events in your past occasionally is fine because sometimes, it pays to look back from where you came from.  However, if a sigh continually emanates from your lips followed by “I remember when” or “I wish I didn’t” phrases very often, then you’ve got some self-image issues.  Despairing continuously over the past won’t let you move forward.  Live in the present and make the most of the relationships
you have so you can bury your past and forget it.

Step #3:  Take note of any signs of obsession with food, drugs, or emotions.

If nothing else calms your nerves or gives you the drive such as chocolate, drugs, or even a feeling of anger, you may have dependency issues.  Relying on these substances or emotions to make you feel your worth is not healthy and can do even more harm to your health and to those around you.

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Good in Yourself – On how to appreciate yourself and develop high self-esteem
Self-worth and break-ups – On self-esteem and personal relationships
Amp up Confidence – Self confidence and ways to achieve it
Self-esteem and employment – Seeing yourself and your worth
Good About Yourself – How you see yourself and your worth

Building Self-esteem – Defining low esteem and tips on overcoming it
Liking Yourself – Building self-confidence by liking yourself
Weight Gain – How low self-esteem contributes to weight gain.
Self-esteem Myths – Debunking rumors about self-esteem issues
Valuing Yourself – Learning how to value yourself


  1. One thing to keep in mind, “life is about making choices and never looking back”. Regret is one thing that Mr. Success shuns upon, so remove that from your system. Accept yourself for who you are, and do not make yourself a social robot that was built to live up to the expectations of everyone. So what if you cannot live up to their expectations? Do not be afraid to speak up, remember that you are at stake here, make them realize that you are just a Human that is prone to mistakes and is far from being perfect. Do not wish that you can go back in time and start all over again, remember that a great sculptor does not start from the beginning when his sculpture is undesirable, rather, he puts on more clay and molds it into the desired shape.

  2. One way to know for sure that you have self-esteem issues is if you tend to sabotage yourself. You may be frightened of succeeding or failing or sometimes both. You may be hyped to do one thing and stop doing it all of a sudden out of fear of the outcome. That will be the time to seek professional help. The best you can do is be aware of the signs of a problem before it gets difficult for you and your family to resolve.

  3. Erwin Jayoma says:

    As what the Word of God says, I have not given you the spirit of fear but of power love and sound mind. People who loss their personal confidence and trust are the people who also do not trust in God. Inferiority and all forms of negative attitudes are not of God, they are from the enemy which is the devil. Satan always put discouragement in every hearts because he wants to destroy you and let you down and be separated from the will of God. The devil comes to destroy, kill and steal the good things in you but God comes just to give you life and have it more abundantly. Therefore, you should trust God as your maker. He has put a good things in you. You should not be discouraged or dismayed. You are good and special and one of a kind. Trust your Maker and trust yourself

  4. potrish78 says:

    If you commit suicide every time you get heartbreak or if suicide is the only reason you think about as something to keep your lover from leaving you, is a major indication that you have self esteem issues. If people praise you or say that you are beautiful and you reply with “No, I’m not. You’re just saying that because you are my friend” Then I say you really have issues. Worse, if it is your lover who is praising you and you disagree instead of just saying “Thank you!” People don’t normally just say these things to flatter someone especially if these people are very close to you. If you repeatedly hear those praises then it must be really true.

    Remember that beauty is only skin deep. What people see in you probably is not only the physical attributes but your heart as well. So stop pulling yourself down. Be proud of who or what you really are.

  5. gracette says:

    Sometimes, things won’t happen according to our plan. But it doesn’t mean that we have to stick with it for a long time and regrets will continue to control us. If we let ourselves to regret everything wrong that happened in the past, one of the consequences is that we may fail our relationship with others. If things won’t work the way we wanted it, then we should learn from it so we will know what to do next time. We can’t do anything about the past but we can do the best in the present. Don’t let yourself down. Don’t blame yourself too much. Don’t think the you are the worse person. You can do better, just try harder. And also, Don’t rely on taking too much food, it might get you fat. And if you look at the mirror and see yourself fat, it might worsen your low self-esteem. Too much alcohol, cigars and drugs are very bad ideas.

  6. Sofia Cope says:

    Remember that self-esteem is earned and should be worked hard for. Having low self-esteem will not get you anywhere. I used to downplay myself a lot when I had this relationship back in college but because I realized that it wasn’t making me a better person and it was affecting the relationship already, I knew I had to stop. How did I do it? Well, it wasn’t easy but it was worth all the effort and desire to change. I started by talking to people and making them share about their failures in life and how they overcome it. Some friends would recommend informative books that truly helped me find the confidence I’ve been searching for. One very important lesson I have extracted from the books I’ve read is that if you can’t love yourself, it will be difficult for you to love anyone.

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