7 Steps to Transform Yourself From Victim to Creator

this post answers the following questions
1. How to transform yourself by focusing in improvement?
2. Why seek solution can transform yourself?
3. Why transforming yourself mean you should stop complaining?
4. Why you should understand that transforming yourself while having problems are just temporary?
5. Why you should stay positive while transforming yourself?

7 Steps to Transform Yourself From Victim to Creator

The only thing any of us have control over in this world is that thing between our ears. You can’t dictate what happens to you, or command the consciousness of other people. Perception is everything, and learning how to be the master of your own mind can change the way you live. Learn how to take control of your future by avoiding the pitfalls of thinking like a victim, and start acting like a creator.

Here’s 7 quick steps to pull yourself out of that victim mindset, and help you become a creator of your own reality!

1) Focus on How to Improve Instead of Focusing on Weakness

People who have a victim mentality often have a knee jerk negative reaction when it comes to their own competency. If you come across an assignment that is outside of your wheelhouse, instead of throwing your hands up in the air and saying “I don’t know how” say “I don’t know how yet, but I know I can learn.” The language you use makes a difference.

2) Seek Solutions Instead of Making Excuses

Victims often make excuses for their bad behavior. There is always some external force preventing them from meeting a deadline, or showing up on time. Usually victims use the same tired excuses time and time again. Instead, admit that you messed up, and find a solution so it doesn’t happen again. For example, if you are continuously late to work, don’t keep blaming it on bad traffic, try leaving the house earlier. The solution is usually pretty simple.

3) Stop Complaining

When a victim is unhappy with a situation, he/she will complain and more often than not, disengage entirely. Aside from annoying everyone around you, complaining keeps out anything positive you could have gotten from an experience. “This conference is stupid and has nothing to do with my job” is something a victim would say. A creator would search for meaning to make the most out of something confusing. “Can you help me understand how attending this conference will help me in my job?” Asking questions and staying motivated are two ways creators get ahead.

4) Don’t Play the Blame Game

Victims have a hard time taking responsibility for themselves. Creators can look at their actions with honesty, and admit to themselves when they could have done better. A victim would say something like, “That test was ridiculous. I got an F because the Professor tested us on something we didn’t even go over in class.” If you didn’t do so hot on an assignment, don’t be so quick to turn on your mentors. “I got an F on that test because I didn’t study carefully and I waited until the last minute. Next time I will take better notes and ask the Professor to review material I don’t understand.” Creators understand they have to be advocates for themselves. Next time you feel lost, reach out to the people above you (like your manager or teacher) for guidance.

5) Understand that Problems are Temporary

Victims treat problems as a permanent condition. “I’ll never understand how my husband thinks, talking to him is useless.” Victims sensationalize problems and make them more dramatic than they need to be. “The way my husband and I are communicating right now isn’t working. I am going make an appointment with a couples counselor so we can improve our relationship.” Creators recognize that a problem only lasts forever if you want it to. Tell yourself, “This too shall pass” and guess what? It will.

6) Do Something New

The definition of insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results. Victims often perpetuate the same ineffectual behaviors over and over again even though the results are bad. A cycle of victim behavior sounds like, “Everytime I go to that restaurant, the server gets my order wrong, and my whole day is ruined.” You don’t have to go through life sticking with the devil you know. Instead of performing the same action that leaves you frustrated again and again, try doing it differently! A creator learns from undesirable results and adjusts the behavior, “I’ll try going to brunch at a restaurant that is less crowded next weekend.” Human beings tend to be creatures of habit, but if your routine just isn’t working for you, then change it.

7) Be Positive!

Victims tend to predict defeat and give up on things. Remember Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh? Some people (and donkeys) are just perpetually bummed out. Being stuck in negativity can push away partners and pull down your productivity. “There’s nothing I can do. I’ll probably fail anyways, so what’s the point?” Victims have a hard time achieving anything because they give up before they even try. A creator would say something like “I’ll find a way to make it happen. I will choose not to give up.” Successful people stay focused on the bright side.

self-esteem issues

Photo source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mythoto/5067558414/

In reality, all of us play the victim and all of us play the creator at various points in our lives. Yet few of us realize just how much control we actually have in deciding the roles we play at any given time. Overall, to be a creator it is important to understand that you always have a choice over where you are, what you are doing, how you act (or react), and who you are with. Change your outlook; change your life.

Kristen Bright is a blogger at Instant Checkmate. Follow Kristen on Twitter at https://twitter.com/instntcheckmate for more of her works, and daily life improvement tips.

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