Soon after your breakup, your mind might be racing from the heights of figuring out how to get someone back to the depths of feeling lonely, worthless, or unlovable. This is normal. Don’t beat yourself up. Relationships break up all the time. What’s important is that you let your emotions play out so you’re not caught in a mood roller coaster. Give yourself the time to become emotionally stable by just letting emotions pass. Some days you feel anger. That’s fine. Other days, you feel depressed. That’s fine too. Just be patient with yourself. Once you have accepted the breakup, that’s the best time to move on and start thinking of how to get someone back.
Understand what caused your split
The first step in understanding how to get someone back is to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself hard questions regarding your split. You will quickly realize that the split was not entirely his or her fault. Even if the person just got up and left or cheated on you, you would realize, if you are really honest with yourself, that there was something you did to help cause the split. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should blame yourself entirely-especially if your ex cheated on you. Still, don’t just lay all the blame on your ex. Make this split an opportunity to become a better person and give yourself the opportunity to learn from the split so you can become more mature and more emotionally together.
Look deep inside and let go
After the tears have dried, and you have finished going through the harsh emotional ups and downs, you need to calm down and look deep inside your feelings. Be in touch with what you’re feeling. If you have let your emotions truly drain out, you should be able to achieve some sort of calm. You can be at peace with the breakup. You can then allow yourself to go to the next step-moving on. This process is crucial in understanding how to get someone back.
Move on, let go, grow up
You have to understand that if you want to figure out how to get someone back, you have to build a package that is worth getting back together with. Too many people don’t understand this. Don’t just offer the same-old package. You have to make some sacrifices too. You need to grow up a bit. You need to learn from your experiences so you offer a lot more than before. At the very least, you should be a bit better off emotionally.
Once you have given yourself the space and time to move on and be in touch with your emotions, you need to achieve a level of growth where you are stronger. When you are stronger, you feel more independent, and you feel a stronger level of emotional intensity that you can give to the right person. Be aware of this. Celebrate it. Be proud of it. Once everything is clear, you can then go on to try and be friends with your ex. This is a key part in learning how to get someone back. They have to be in contact with you, and they have to be aware of your changes.
Let your ex see the new you
Now that you have gone through some emotional housekeeping, your ex should be able to see what he or she is missing. Be friends. Real friends. This means no sex-yet. Show your ex how you’ve gotten your head together and how you’ve moved on. This is the best signal you can give to your ex that you are worth coming back to.
Knowing how to get someone back is a long process. Don’t expect it to happen overnight. Use your break up as an opportunity to make the necessary changes for real personal growth. The more you grow, the more attractive you will be to the right person.