Top Four Least Advisable Things to do with Office Supplies

Work can definitely get boring in a typical office – and surprisingly, bitter office politics and infighting tend to make everything more dull, rather than less.

However boring it gets, though, I recommend that you stick to making little men out of paperclips rather than attempting to alleviate your tedium with any of the following ways of using office supplies.

These advanced methods of boredom removal are to be attempted only by T.V. presenters and wilderness survival experts. If you absolutely must try one of them, I guess you should wear goggles or something.


1. The Nighthawk

Have you ever wanted to be a silent assassin, but lacked access to a suitably quiet and efficient murder weapon?

Well, now you can fashion your very own crossbow using gear from the office supply cupboard (and maybe a couple of popsicle sticks from home).

This paper crossbow is a true crossbow, in that the strength comes from stored power in the ‘arms’ of the crossbow, rather than from an elastic band. The maker claims that this particular paper crossbow can propel a pencil as far as 100 feet.

It’s also an excellent way to announce to the rest of the office that you are a quiet, intense individual with an unhealthy weapons fixation.

2. Elastic Overkill

Alternatively, you might be more of a Rambo.

If that’s the case, you might be interested in what is essentially a gatling gun, modified to fire elastic bands.

Check out the video here.

There’s nothing more annoying than the guy who brings the hosepipe to the water fight. For just a few solid days of work, you could be that guy!

3. The “Office Space”

In the mid-90s, the world was a very different place in terms of printer supplies.

Office workers everywhere despised the merciless machines that mocked their very existence, with incomprehensible or even incorrect error messages that often showed up in other languages.

The film Office Space offered the chance of a wonderful escape from the printers’ evil clutches, featuring an extended scene of three co-workers beating the unliving hell out of the bane of their lives.

Of course, the same film also featured the hero stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from his employers, so maybe it’s not the best place to go for guidance on how to treat office equipment.

4. The Batman

Using just a pencil and paper for the hook itself, you can quite easily make a grappling hook using supplies from about the office.

To actually fire it, you can use a release mechanism such as a bulldog clip, which holds an elastic band – this is what fires the grappling hook. Attach this to a ruler, and tie a long length of string to the hook, with the other end securely attached to a reel.

Once fired, simply haul it back in using the string.

Most useful for repeatedly annoying co-workers, and eye injuries, it could theoretically be used to reel in other office supplies from all over the place, meaning you could quite easily build up an enormous stockpile of office supplies to abuse.

All of these uses of office supplies are great ways to show your boss that you really don’t care about being fired, and will probably result in you being shown the door. They are all kind of cool, but really, ask yourself if “kind of cool” is worth losing your job.

James Duval is a blogger who writes for Office King. Office King are an online supplier of office equipment and printer supplies.

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