Stop Being a Victim

Do you have a victim mentality? If so, you may also be suffering from low self-worth. People who have a victim mentality perceive themselves as being in pain and as being victims of circumstances or other people. In some cases, people truly have been victimized. It is important, however, to let the hurt and pity go so you can regain your control and strength and start to live like the worthy person that you really are. How can you know if you have a victim mentality? Ask yourself if you are constantly thinking negative thoughts, feeling pity for yourself, or constantly asking “why me” questions. If so, you are living your life as a victim.

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Causes of a Victim Mentality

There are many causes of a victim mentality. It can be caused by bad things that have happened to you or it can be caused by what you think about yourself. It may be brought on by what others say to you, your belief in personal choice and fate, your religious beliefs, and more. Regardless of the cause, it is possible to change your mental state.

If bad things happened to you, take a moment to realize that bad things happen to everyone at some time. That’s just life. Many people take these setbacks in stride and move on. Others treat every minor instance as a major disaster. Maybe they do this to feel important or maybe they do so because they are addicted to drama. Regardless of the reason, hanging on to negative experiences hurts the quality of your life.

Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is one of the most common causes of the victim mentality. My husband, who has a friend who is learning to become a gunsmith, has had to help his friend deal with his negative self-talk. When you constantly exhibit a negative opinion and image of yourself, you base your decisions on poor assumptions. These bad decisions cause additional failure and painful experiences that further lend proof to the idea that you are indeed a victim.

Just as negative self-talk can destroy you, negative comments from other people can have the same effect. When someone treats you badly, you can easily adopt a negative outlook on life and start believing that you are simply a victim of others and that you aren’t invested in your own success or happiness.

Your personal beliefs can also play a large part in developing a victim mentality. If you feel that fate is in charge and that you have no control, it is easy to wonder why bad things always happen to you (though they probably don’t). The same goes for religion. If you believe God is in charge of every minute detail of your existence and that he punishes you for doing wrong, you will give up all power over your happiness.

Having a victim mentality can be one of the most self-destructive things you can do. If you feel that you have this problem, the way to improvement is to start building your self-esteem and taking control of your own success or failure. The sooner you take ownership of your life, the happier you will be.

Tarny G. loves to write articles to help those that are struggling.

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