If you feel that you’ve lost the love of your life, and you are just beside yourself in grief, you need to get a hold of yourself and start putting together a plan. However, figuring out how to win someone back is not something you do when you’re in the grieving process. You need to think clearly. You need focus. And, most importantly, you need will power. The good news is that many couples have gotten back together in the past, are getting back together now, and will get back together in the future. Keep this in mind. All is not lost. However, what’s the point of figuring out how to win someone back when you are just going to split up again? Follow the advice below so you can know how to win someone back and keep that person. You may need to make some changes. You may need to make some sacrifices. Still, if the person you lost is ‘the one’ and is the right person for you, these changes are nothing compared to what you will regain. Follow the steps below-they are all part of how to win someone back.
Figure out what happened
When you have a nasty break up with someone, and they stormed out of your life, it is natural to feel, well, lost. It is natural to feel depressed, angry, frustrated, alone, and shook up. Let these feelings play out. They have a natural lifespan. Don’t hold back. Cry if you need to. The key is to go through the grieving process and let your emotions drain out so you can look at your situation with a clearer perspective. After you’ve given yourself the time and space to let your emotions play out, you should, without any judgment or reading anything into the facts, figure out exactly what happened. What were the warning signs? What reasons did your ex give? What other evidence would support another reason? Be honest with yourself. Don’t go into denial. Take the breakup for what it is.
Change the things you can change
Now that you have a clear idea why your relationship went south, wrap your mind around the possibility that may be part of the reason for the break up is your fault. Change the things you can change about yourself. Maybe you were too possessive? Maybe you were too insecure? Maybe you never really got over having to be faithful to your ex? Regardless of what fault lies on your end of the equation, make sure you realize it and resolve to change it. Think about it this way, when figuring out how to win someone back, you are making changes as much as to get them back as to improve yourself. Become a better person by making the changes you need to make.
Be available for friendship
Once you have given yourself the time and space to make important, and yes, painful personal changes, bring yourself to be happy with becoming friends again with your ex. The secret to pulling this off is to not assume that your ex would want to be in a romantic relationship with you. The secret is to assume that you’ll just be friends, and that you can be happy with this. Anything less and your attempts at getting back with your ex will fail.
Know your ex all over again
Once your ex warms up to your efforts at being friends again, give yourself the opportunity to know him or her all over again. Just enjoy each other’s presence. Leave sex or physical attraction out of it. Celebrate each other’s uniqueness and personality. Appreciate him or her for being him or her. Show your appreciation. Be encouraging. Be a real friend. This is one of the cornerstones to figuring out how to win someone back. You have to be a real friend. You have to gain that person’s trust to go deeper. Next, be available for your ex and have real and meaningful talks. Make it clear to him or her that you just want to be friends but want to be deep friends.
Make it clear that you know your ex inside and out
Once your ex settles down into the idea of being good friends with you, send signals to your ex of how intimately you know him or her. This communicates that while you are friends, there is always the possibility that, if you both agree, things can get deeper again. Still, this time, it will be a more mature, more mutually beneficial and emotionally rewarding experience.
The key to figuring out how to win someone back is not to be desperate. If you want to truly nail how to win someone back, you need to grow as a person and give your ex an incentive to get back with you. The best incentive is to grow up, mature, and clearly communicate that he or she’ll be coming back to a better person.