Coping with Separation or Divorce

Going through a divorce is far from easy, and if you find yourself in this situation, you may be feeling a little lost. There are two conflicting personalities in play, and you will discover that things can go much more smoothly if you keep a few important tips in mind.

Be Polite

Some divorces end relatively amicably, while others do not. Even if your divorce is one that ended with plenty of hard feelings, you can smooth the way significantly by being polite. It is very easy to be recriminating and angry, but the truth is that that stops things from getting done. It takes some practice, but stay calm and polite whenever you are talking with your ex, especially if there are children involved.

Make a Priority List

Before you enter negotiations for splitting up your things, make sure that you know what you want. It is too easy to sign away things that you really need or to cling to things that on second thought don’t matter as much. Take a moment to think about all the things that are going to come up, and be as fair as you can. This helps you prepare for the negotiations regarding your shared property.

Consider Money

Even if you are planning on splitting things up, you may find that you do not actually want the items in question. If your ex has a lot of attachment to the items, but you do not, take a moment to think about what might be a fair cash settlement. Simply because you do not want the items does not mean that you don’t deserve to be compensated. This does mean honestly assessing how much money each item is worth, but it is worth it in the end.

Meet on Neutral Ground

Sometimes, it is just too rough to meet at home, wherever that happens to be at a given point. If you are having issues with meeting with your ex when you need to negotiate or communicate, take it out of the house. Head to a small restaurant or a quiet coffee shop. In many ways, this can keep things civil in a way that they might not be otherwise. If you have issues with seeing your ex at all, you can handle many things over the phone or even over Skype. Distance can keep things much more polite than they might be if you were meeting in your home.

Finding a New Place to Live

The decision to find a new place to live and leaving your home can be stressful. There may be a transitioning period where you have to stay with a friend or family member before you can move into your new place. If this is your situation, think about renting a storage unit to store your belongings until move in day. While it is helpful if your partner is willing to hold on to them until you get situated, it may be more helpful to have closure without having to have the issue of personal belongings hanging in the balance.

Take a moment to clear your mind and to relax. Divorce can be devastating, but it is far from the end of the world. It takes time to heal from a divorce, but first you have to get through it. Keeping these tips in mind can help.

Image by weelakeo and licensed through Creative Commons.

Paul Benjamin is a District Manager at EZ Storage, a company that has been providing clean and secure self storage for over 30 years in Detroit, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and St Louis.

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