Protecting Your Home from a Vampire Attack

Halloween season is here, and that means it’s time to get your home ready for attacks from all sorts of ghouls and goblins. Today we’re covering vampires.

Now, the good news about vampires is that they won’t come into your home without invitation, they’re polite like that, but here’s the bad news: you can’t always tell who’s a vampire and who isn’t. If you’ve unwittingly invited a bloodsucker into your home, then you’ll be glad to know that there are some simple tricks that you can use to stop a vampiric home invasion before it starts.


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Garlic Salt

You’ve heard of a circle of salt to keep ghosts and witches at bay, well the same trick works on vampires if you use garlic salt. By spreading some garlic salt on your flooring and windowsills, you can prevent vampire attacks without having to hang cumbersome cloves around the house.

Christian for a Day?

It’s a well known fact that vampires hate crosses, but this leaves Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, atheist, agnostic and Muslim families out of the mix. The good news is that it doesn’t matter to a vampire what your faith is, it’s the cross itself that spooks them. If you don’t have any Christian religious iconography handy when you hear the bats squeaking outside your window, you could hang a makeshift cross made out of licorice whips and it will scare off most vampires.

The Guardwolf

You may find it silly when someone dresses their dog up in a Halloween costume, but it’s well known that werewolves are the only monster that ranks higher on the Transylvanian food chain than the vampire. Your lazy hound dog might just save you from an eternity of sleeping in coffins if you use a little water based hair dye to emphasize his eyes and sneak some coffee beans into his food bowl to provide him with the energy to patrol the house on Halloween night. Of course, if there are no vampires about, the sound of toenails clicking on the hardwood flooring all night may be just as bad.

Protecting your home from vampire attacks is no joke. You take the time to buy the right siding for your house, you get fire and flood insurance, so why not take a few hours this October to make sure that your family has nothing to fear from the forces of the undead? Remember, safety begins at home.

Bill Gross writes about ghosts, ghouls, vampires, and more.

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