The Mental And Emotional Pain Abused Women Endure

Women who are abused by their partners undergo severe mental and emotional stress. Domestic violence is no longer uncommon. This is why many communities have begun offering an array of services to assist abused women seek social help in escaping their abusive partners, find legal help and recover from the trauma. Those who have experienced consistent or severe domestic abuse will have gone through a cycle of abuse that will have left them emotionally and mentally weak, making assistance necessary.

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The Different Cycles Of Abuse

The cycle of abuse is abuse inflicted in a repetitive pattern either through episodic or generational ways. Abuse that is passed down such as parents exposing domestic abuse to their children is known as a generational cycle, while abuse inflicted in a repeating pattern within at least two members of a family such as spouses, child or elders, is known as an episodic cycle.

Episodic Cycle of Abuse – This type of abuse occurs in different periods of behavior that usually results to severe verbal and physical abuse. Unfortunately, victims of episodic abuse often deny that they are victims of domestic violence.

Generational Cycle of Abuse – A son who grew up being constantly abused physically and verbally by his father can possibly treat his own children in the same way. A daughter who grew up hearing her mother berate and criticize her father frequently will carry the behavior on. As such, if a child witnesses his parents hurt each other, he will most likely inflict the same kind of abusive patterns on his spouse.

The Stages Of Emotional And Mental Pain

Abused women can endure different cycles of abuse and they will also experience different stages of its effects.

Denial – The first thing abused women do when they are being abused is to deny the problem when others ask. They usually make up excuses for their partner’s behavior during his outbursts and believe that the abuse will never happen again.

Blaming Oneself – It is only after a certain period of time that an abused woman will finally understand that there is a problem in the relationship. She may recognize that she is the victim of abuse which can happen again. Unfortunately, she will also tend to take the blame or responsibility for the abuse being inflicted. This then leads her to question her own character and believe that she is not living up to her partner’s expectations as a wife.

Realization – After continuous abuse, bruises and harsh words, an abused woman will finally realize that no one deserves to be beaten. This is the moment when she realizes that the behavior of her partner is not justified and that it is her partner who has a serious problem. Nevertheless, she will continue to stay with him, trying to make amends with the hope that he will change and stop the abuse.

Taking Action – When a woman realizes that her abuser does have a problem that only he can solve, she is ready to take action. She understands that nothing she may say or do can help her abuser; however she can take the necessary steps to escape her partner, seek legal action and begin a new life.

By the time an abused woman realizes that she deserves a new life, the fear felt may either decrease or increase, depending on the behavior being displayed by the abuser. Taking action requires courage and determination, and women who are being supported by a group or trusted friend are usually those who are able to escape.


Valerie Clearwater is a freelance writer specializing in criminal law. She regularly contributes articles to legal websites where well experienced lawyer in MA restraining order laws can be consulted.

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