Taking Facebook by the Collar

The world of Facebook is something that almost everyone is a part of. Meeting friends, chatting with them, even when they are living down the street, is quite common when you’re on facebook. In fact, your digital life may end up engulfing your whole world and before you can realise it, you are spending 20 hours a day, talking to friends who are next door or just a phone call away.


Photo Credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/43098245@N04/8238182340/

So if we are killing our real social life to give more time to our digital version, then there has to be something wrong with the direction the world is moving into. However, if you want to continue living that life and not put your social and digital life on the line, then here are some things that you need to do. Or maybe not!

Spam Them

One of the best ways to bomb your friends is by forcing them to read your messages. Whether you are talking about the latest git you have on your face or the thirteen-year old book that you are trying to sell off, they need to know. Go into your friends’ list and send out messages to all of them at the same time, pimping whatever you can get your hands on.

Put it on your status, send them event invites and make sure they have to RSVP to make it go away.

No Profile

There isn’t anything more annoying than not having your profile picture showing your mug-shot. Almost everyone likes to show off their holidays, their prized possessions and when somebody is putting up a blank wall or a flower pot as their profile picture, others might find it irritating. Conforming to norms is something that everyone expects from you and if your profile isn’t like everyone else’s, get ready to start receiving threats to change it! The key is to not give in.

Tell us More

Is your tooth rotting away or are you planning to walk down to the store? Put it up as your status message on facebook. That’s what you need to do otherwise how will others know about what your life is revolving around? One of the most important things about maintaining a facebook profile is to believe that everyone is dying to know about every single detail of your life. The more your life sucks, the more you need to tell the world.

Like Everything

Whatever “like” button you can get your mouse-pointer on, just click on it and make sure the world knows that you do. It doesn’t have to be something you really like – it just has to come onto the screen in front of you. Like other people’s messages, updates, pictures, events and anything and everything that you see.

When you look back at your day on facebook, you should actually feel like you’ve done a lot of work. Your efforts should seem substantial and, almost instantly, you will be the object of affection, or rejection, for those around you. If you still have friends the next day, on facebook, then go ahead and be “yourself” once again.

Craig Haddock – author

When it comes to living life on the wild side, Craig has been there and done it all. Working behind an IT helpdesk life couldn’t have been wilder as Craig spent most of his time explaining the location of the “Any” key. His life took a turn for the worse when he moved to stand-up comedy routines, leaving his job security behind, he was forced to leave his apartment, take up a smaller place and simply make things harder for himself. He continues to perform in clubs that will still allow him to, and keeps writing about various nuances of his previous job in his own way.

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