The Gay Student at College

Before the words start flowing here I have to make three points at the outset. I am the person who is the subject of this article, and although being gay is nothing like the stigma it was for our parents and their parents, it still remains an issue with the stupid. It also brings humor too.

Not being of rich parents, my college was definitely not the Ivy League style. Nevertheless it was a well-run college and situated in a nice area. The buildings were new and the overall feeling of the place was friendly and professional. Of course like any other college in our great nation it did have the brainless bullies who could play football, but could not see what a book did.

I do not think I am very effeminate, although some of my friends would say otherwise. But I do keep myself to myself, especially when passing by the bullies on the way to and from class. When other classmates are necking the female classmates and talking about sex, I used to blush and smile. It was so easy for the guys to show affection and even indulge in the chase. But for me I would try and keep my sexuality at a low key.

gay student

Photo source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/antichrist/2556266716/

Don’t get me wrong I am not ashamed or in denial, I just have learned the hard way that some people have a real problem with the gender I prefer. But it was only a few weeks in when the subject of my sexuality in class was discussed, and I was well “outed”. I have to say it was not a big issue, as most of my classmates were fine. In fact the girls would spend more time with me now as I was not a threat in anyway.

Most of the guys were fine. Except one guy. He was built like a monster; he was huge and very standoffish. His speech would normally revolve around grunts and groans. He never mixed with anyone, but would tag along behind the bully brigade. He was now in a constant death stare with me since my outing. This went on for days, and it was very obvious to all in the class that he had an issue.

Despite being spoken to and shouted at. Despite being firmly told by the girls to back off, nothing got through. The stares continued. It became unbearable. After so long, I decided I would have to deal with this myself. I would have to “talk” to him one on one. So after a few days I plucked up the courage. I had spent the night before trying to put all the elegant words in the right order. I had planned for every eventuality of his response, down to the fact of having my doctor’s number in my wallet.

I approached him in the corridor when I knew he was alone, and that nobody was watching. I went up to him looked him in the eye and started my speech. I told him I was a human, and I did not want to be treated like this. The lecture to his blank face went on for about two minutes. He did not bat an eye lid or respond. This was even more insulting.

I was about to give up. I gave a sigh, and started to walk off. He grabbed my arm to stop me, and I expected the fist or a slap to follow. It did not. What happened next floored me. He spoke! He actually spoke. What he said left me speechless. He said.

“I AM gay too. Can we hang out?”

I learnt a big lesson that day. I was jumping to conclusions about him because of the way he looked. I made assumptions about him being a bully. I jumped to all the generic assumptions about bulling as other people did to me about being gay.

Now we have become friends.  I am helping him with his essay editing and helping with his interactions with other people. We are becoming firm friends now. But NOT boyfriends. I will just stick to helping him with his essay editing and hope he finds someone. Being gay at college is not too bad. The boys get jealous of my interactions with the girls, and most guys treat me as one of the lads. Thank goodness society has moved on in the right direction.

Simon Miles is still at college and a very happy student. And very gay too.

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